North Korean soccer players to be sent to coal mines

You lose in World Cup? You work in coal mines for the rest of your life!

The North Koreans beat a hasty retreat to the team hotel after their 7-0 gubbing at the hands of Portugal on Monday. However, when they find out what mental leader Kim Jong-Il could have in store for them once their World Cup dream is over, they'll probably be taking the short journey back home verrry slowly indeed.

Despite winning round skeptical fans with a spirited performance against Brazil (and still having a chance to pick up their first points of the tournament against Ivory Coast tomorrow), one former North Korean coach is claiming when the players get home they'll be given new occupations. Shoveling coal for the rest of their lives.

Boob-tastic German tabloid Bild reports Moon Ki-Nam, a former Korea DPR senior coach who fled the country and defected to South Korea in 2004, reckons the beaten players' future lies down a dark hole with only a canary and memories of ‘that night in Johannesburg' for company.

Gosh North Korea, way to play into the stereotype as a ruthless communist regime. Although, I can't say enough how much stories like these give the world of sports so much more fodder to talk about. Love it.

The NK being a bunch of buttheads, not the coal-mining part.