Oh baseball season!

Ah baseball season is upon us and Lake County Leader columnist Paul Fugleberg wrote this fantastic column...

Aaahh, at last a sign of normalcy! This old world has been experiencing a lot the past few weeks — earthquakes, tsunamis, wildfires, wars, rumors of wars, riots, floods, drought, wacky weather, nuclear plant meltdowns, pestilence, epidemics, international intrigue, scandals, political corruption and ineptitude, suicide bombers, drug gang turf battles, celebrity deaths, trillion dollar deficits, and a whole bunch more.

But things have to start looking up now. As of March 31, a sign of normalcy:
T.G.I.B.S. — Thank goodness, it’s baseball season!

And what would baseball season be without recalling some of the malapropism tendencies of that great baseball philosopher Yogi Berra? Among examples of his fractured English are these:

About baseball:
“He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s amphibious.
“How can you think and hit at the same time?
“I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.
“I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?
“We made too many wrong mistakes.
“We had deep depth.”

About mathematics:
“A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.
“You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.
“Baseball is 90 percent mental and the other half is physical.”

About life:
“There are some people, if they don’t already know, you can’t tell ‘em.
“When you arrive at a fork in the road, take it.
“You can observe a lot by just watching.
“You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.
“You should always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
“Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.
“I never said most of the things I said.
“The future ain’t what it used to be.”

I think the national news networks should sign Yogi Berra up to comment on the coming political campaigns.